I was at work the other day (yep, blogging don't pay no bills) and one of my co-workers asked me a question. And I answered in the most fake, sweet and delightful manner. And that's when I realized that there are several different versions of myself, each intended for a different audience.
Surely we all do it. My dad is delightful to waiters in restaurants, cracking jokes and sharing a good belly laugh or two with everyone. But when he's at home and any piece of technology isn't working..... Oh Lordy is he a different man then!
My work version of Jess is a little too lovely. She's the kind of person who you would introduce to your Grandma. In fact she's the same as the Jess that I show my own Grandma! For example, we went to my grandparents place recently on Mothers Day and the whole extended family were around. On the table were two gigantic cakes (we're talking, worthy of a wedding cake) two smaller sponge cakes, a chocolate cake, two different types of chocolate brownie and profiteroles. So I said to Grandma "Grandma, do you think we have enough food for everyone?" And we both laughed and laughed at my hilarity. LAME. It's the same at work. I work in a department store, in a department mainly occupied by old ladies. And I smile and nod and listen to their stories about grandchildren, injuries, that they work too much, that they don't get paid enough and what's wrong with the world. I never swear, my jokes (while still hilarious) and clean and innocent.
With my girlfriends my laugh becomes more shrill and I suddenly care about fashion and reality TV.
With Liv, I'm bitter and twisted and a bit of a bitch. Our humour is black and politically incorrect and we love it.
With my friend Ash, I become vulgar, racist, sexist, younameit-ist, and we laugh like maniacs. Seriously it's frightening. But then again, he has the effect on everyone.
And at first I though "oh no, I have some kind of personality disorder!" but then I thought "Don't be silly, me!" to which I replied "Okay!"
These different versions of myself aren't fake or merely put on for show. They're just modified versions of myself, specifically aimed towards whoever I'm with at the time. And I can't possibly be the only person who does this because we've all met people who were lovely and polite and thought "I wonder what you're like at home.."
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