Maybe Grandma had the right idea..

What's happening with marriage these days? And our lives in general?


In recent years we have developed a sense of entitlement when it comes to happiness. We, as a society, seek our own personal happiness by travelling the world, trying to find love, spoiling ourselves and putting ourselves first. And so we should. Everyone is entitled to happiness and should do anything the can to find it. But I think these days we're doing it at the expense of losing the things that do in fact already make us happy. With this constant searching, we never take the time to stop and appreciate the wonderful things that we do have. Partners, families, careers and homes are not enough for us anymore.


Now, don't get my wrong. I am not here to argue that divorce is a terrible sin. I think there are many circumstances in which marriages just don't work anymore. Abusive relationships, infidelity, lying and just not loving each other anymore are all factors that do so often result in a break up of a relationship. But these days it seems like couples enter a marriage taking solace in the fact that if it doesn't work out they can just get divorced. Since when did "til death do us part" become "til boredom do us encounter" ?


My grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last year. Nine kids and twelve grandchildren later and they're still happily living together in peace. My parents have been married for 32 years this year and still make each other laugh. But could you argue that it's the attitude of their generations that has meant my parents and grandparents have stuck together through thick and thin?


Granted, divorce was a dirty word for a very long time. So I'm sure when couples of my grandparents generation were planning on getting married, there was a sense of acceptance that they're life would be spent with this man or woman... no exceptions.


Which leads me back to my original point. We find the perfect partner, settle down, choose to marry each other... but the whole time we're seeking a new happiness. The "old" boyfriend isn't good enough now. He doesn't bring home flowers anymore, he pays more attention to his video games than he used to, and his mates seem to have moved into your living room. But before you pack your bags and book your plane tickets to some exotic destination with the intention of finding new love, just stop and have a think. He's not perfect, but he still tells you you're beautiful, will sit for hours on the couch cuddling you and listening to you talk about your bad day, helps with the cooking and gets along with your mum. You already have what other women spend their lives searching for, so remember that you love him for the great things he does, not the few flaws he has. He's human after all!


By all means, take advantage of every opportunity that life presents you with and stop at nothing to find your own happiness. But sometimes it's already there in front of you. So make sure you stop and take time to appreciate what you already have. You never know, you may have had it all along.