Trams make nice people assholes

I'm lucky, you know. I live close to my local train station, so I can walk there and catch a train into work in the city. It's convenient and it's great. Except for the assholes.

It's Monday morning. As a Uni student, the fact that I'm up at such an ungodly hour (7 am) is hard enough for me. Eyes half closed, handbag too heavy and shoes too uncomfortable, I'm not functioning. Nor should any normal human being at that hour.

I manage to stumble to the train station, no dramas. I get a seat, I plug myself into my ipod and I watch my fellow commuters fall asleep on the train (morning train bobble heads - always entertaining).

All's well and it could almost be a lovely day. But then I get off and Flinders Street station. Urrggh.

By this time it's about 8am, I start work in half an hour. It's a 15 minute tram ride down St Kilda Rd, shouldn't be a problem right? I'll be there early even!

Nuh uh.

See, the key word in that sentence was "tram". Don't get me wrong, they're pretty wicked. No other city in Australia has them so it's a trademark of Melbourne. But at 8am, normal people become massive sons of bitches.

Obviously, as Flinders Street is a very central area, it's a busy place at peak hour. This is to be expected, so I always acknowledge that once I wander down the steps of Flinders Street Station and cross the road I'm going to be surrounded by people who have no concern for my personal space... or my feet, which apparently make an excellent substitute for the ground.

But the last couple of weeks, it hasn't just been crowded. It's been packed, I'm talking 'Jesus is back and he's on that tram!' kind of packed. And not only has in been impossible to stand on the platform without inadvertantly touching someone else in a strange place, people have also had a serious attitude adjustment. There's no such thing as manners anymore, oh no. It's every man for himself and we're not afraid to use elbows!

One woman in particular had no interest in the well-being of others. She had her elbows out and her 'fuck off' face on; she was standing aside for NO ONE.

( artist's depiction of the woman's 'fuck off' face >>>>>)

With each new tram that arrived, it felt like more and more people arrived at the tram stop too, seriously effecting my chances of getting on a freaking tram. And with each new tram came a new asshole. A man who I assumed to be a sweet old man pushed me out of his way and sent me flying into a group of school kids in order to get on to the tram before me. And might I add, it wasn't even subtle. It was a full on hand on upper arm 'out of my way!' push. Geez old man, just relax!

I get a little anxious in large crowds, I always feel uncomfortable. I mean, I steer clear of Chaddy of a weekend, THAT'S how much I hate crowds. So needless to say I was feeling a bit iffy on this platform .

FINALLY after my faith in humanity was completely destroyed, I managed to find some space neatly squeezed between a business mans chest and a school girls gigantic school bag and I was on my way to work! Mmmm cosy!

It's sad really, when did people stop caring about others?

A long time ago.

But when did we stop pretending to care and be courteous in order to keep up appearances and not look like a jerk? Gosh it's a crazy mixed up world.

Personally, I still cling to a tiny bit of courtesy. Just a bit. I'll give way to people if they're coming through a door. I'll always thank people for stepping aside for me. I'll give a nod to a busker who actually has talent. Because I want to hold on to the fact that the world is still good. So when I arrived at work (finally) and my co-workers said "how are you Jess?" I replied with "Good thanks" because why bore them with the whole tale of my morning?

That's what my blog is for...

Maybe Grandma had the right idea..

What's happening with marriage these days? And our lives in general?


In recent years we have developed a sense of entitlement when it comes to happiness. We, as a society, seek our own personal happiness by travelling the world, trying to find love, spoiling ourselves and putting ourselves first. And so we should. Everyone is entitled to happiness and should do anything the can to find it. But I think these days we're doing it at the expense of losing the things that do in fact already make us happy. With this constant searching, we never take the time to stop and appreciate the wonderful things that we do have. Partners, families, careers and homes are not enough for us anymore.


Now, don't get my wrong. I am not here to argue that divorce is a terrible sin. I think there are many circumstances in which marriages just don't work anymore. Abusive relationships, infidelity, lying and just not loving each other anymore are all factors that do so often result in a break up of a relationship. But these days it seems like couples enter a marriage taking solace in the fact that if it doesn't work out they can just get divorced. Since when did "til death do us part" become "til boredom do us encounter" ?


My grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last year. Nine kids and twelve grandchildren later and they're still happily living together in peace. My parents have been married for 32 years this year and still make each other laugh. But could you argue that it's the attitude of their generations that has meant my parents and grandparents have stuck together through thick and thin?


Granted, divorce was a dirty word for a very long time. So I'm sure when couples of my grandparents generation were planning on getting married, there was a sense of acceptance that they're life would be spent with this man or woman... no exceptions.


Which leads me back to my original point. We find the perfect partner, settle down, choose to marry each other... but the whole time we're seeking a new happiness. The "old" boyfriend isn't good enough now. He doesn't bring home flowers anymore, he pays more attention to his video games than he used to, and his mates seem to have moved into your living room. But before you pack your bags and book your plane tickets to some exotic destination with the intention of finding new love, just stop and have a think. He's not perfect, but he still tells you you're beautiful, will sit for hours on the couch cuddling you and listening to you talk about your bad day, helps with the cooking and gets along with your mum. You already have what other women spend their lives searching for, so remember that you love him for the great things he does, not the few flaws he has. He's human after all!


By all means, take advantage of every opportunity that life presents you with and stop at nothing to find your own happiness. But sometimes it's already there in front of you. So make sure you stop and take time to appreciate what you already have. You never know, you may have had it all along.