Equality..

Just the other day I was at work at a department store, folding towels (exciting stuff) when I overheard two female customers talking. They had just run into each other and had obviously known each other for a long time. Now, I don't know their situations but from their conversation it seemed like they both had a lot of responsibility at home. At first I tried to justify their complaints by telling myself that "maybe her husband is ill and that's why she has to do everything around the house". 

But as the conversation went on, it was more about how hopeless men are and are more of a burden than a help. 

Their conversation concluded with "People say men and women are equal but that is such crap! Men and women will never be equal, EVER! Men are just a lazy breed." And with that, they went their separate ways, unaware that they had left a young sales assistant to pick her jaw up off the ground. 

Now, allow me to put my first defensive thought down to youth and naivety, but I couldn't help but be mad at them for saying that men and women were not equal, nor will they ever be.  Don't get me wrong, I am aware that society certainly hasn't nailed the whole "equality" thing just yet, but I really resented them for giving up. For saying it would never happen. 

But then I got really defensive of men. Personally I'm getting really sick of hearing how hopeless the men in our lives are and how all the responsibility falls into women's hands. 

I'm going to say something that you're not going to like, but bear with me: 

SOME men are lazy because the women in their lives have always allowed them to be. 

Okay, put down the pitchforks and let me explain! These two women in the department store were 60+. So when their husbands were younger men, they were most likely the cherished one in the family - my mum still remembers her two brothers never having to lift a finger while the seven girls were responsible for cleaning up after dinner. My own dad is the youngest of eight and also never had to lift a finger around the house because the boys just weren't expected to. 

So yes perhaps we can say that a lot of the household responsibility falls on to the women, but that's how we have all been trained to think. Women were responsible for caring for the house and the children and the men earned the money. 

When women of my mum's era grew up, they had different attitudes to their children. My brother and I had the same amount of responsibility and jobs to do around the house and they were in no way gender influenced - he had to do the dishes because he was older and I couldn't quite reach the sink, and I had to bring the bins in after school. 

I think today's young man is much more capable and willing than the older generations. That said, I think that is a harsh generalization of older generations, as I'm sure there are plenty of men my dad's age who are cooking dinner right now! 

My point is that, as a young woman, I really do feel like the men around me are more conscious of equality. My mum does everything around our house, and as a result of seeing that my whole life I am often really (unnecessarily) firm with my boyfriend over the sharing of responsibilities. And every time I go on a feminist rant about how I will not be his maid and the cooking and cleaning is to be shared equally, I get this strange look from him as he shrugs and says "yeah, of course" as if that's what he expected anyway. 

So perhaps those ladies were right, perhaps we're not entirely equal just yet. But I resent them for having such a negative attitude, because I think we're getting pretty damn close. 

Let's give men a little more credit, shall we?